Floral Feelings

Hey you guys!

The fun part about writing your own blog is having no need to make posts in a specific way about a specific thing. There is freedom and transparency, and right now I don't really want to wax poetic about the way this skirt is floral or whatever. I want to talk about music.

Music is like breathing for me. Not in the way that I can just utter notes so eloquently as if it was as easy as breathing, but more like I need to be able to have a lot of much music each day, and it is the most amazing feeling when I am able to enjoy it fully. Like breathing fresh air.

I've made a few posts on Facebook and mentions of it here about music and the way it affects me, but not many people seem to care or feel the same. That's okay, I'm not really looking for attention. I just want people to notice how songs are meaningful and full of power, even if they are about something you think is dumb. 

The main reason I would like a song or an album will be based on how much I think an artist cares about the music. how much they care. how much they believe in it. and it's so entirely amazing for me to hear about how artists craft and create songs with or without the help of others. I listen with delight to stories of "I had the chorus but the verses just didn't sound right and I had to work at it for months" or "I heard the melody in the shower and that was it; I had the whole song." How hard did they have to work? And a lot of the music on the radio turns me off solely because I can't see an artist caring much about producing a song that doesn't mean anything about their lives or hearts. It was made with a group of people on computers, sold to a singer, and only recorded because she needed a single to market her album. Music isn't as cheap as that, it is not easily come by. There are no shortcuts. That doesn't mean techno music is bad or I don't like songs that are popular. But what does an artist want me to hear? Do they feel things when they sing? Did they have to work hard to get as famous as they are? Were they struggling when they wrote this music? If I don't care about these questions then I may as well listen to nothing. 

Given that my criteria for finding good music (that the artist cares) is so wide, you can probably guess that I find a lot of music that I could listen to. And I listen to a lot, so yeah I have a wide range of genres I can get into. Of course, in every genre, 90% of the song content is about romance, sex, or the lack thereof. I think there is one big reason for this, and it's not because of our overly-sexualized society or the obsession with romance that overtakes media, it's because of the highly concentrated emotion that exists in the topic of romance, and not any other topic. For Christian music, for example, it's all about God because God evokes feelings and emotions that are so strong, they need to be sung about. It's also about our struggle as people on earth and all the things we face, because those evoke such strong thoughts as well. 
But those who do not care about God, do not feel anything about God. Nor do they feel strongly enough about their actions or struggles in humanity to compare to the richness of emotion in all that comes with falling in and out of love. 

They don't have anything more important to talk about. and you're like "woah tasha thats a huge generalization" but if artists do feel strongly about things besides romance, they do end up singing about them. Rappers do this well. And Tori Kelly, and Owl City, and many others. That's cool! But you gotta admit, they are the minority. 

And that's why I am okay with listening to songs about romance and love and I don't make a big fuss over an entire album dedicated to relationship problems. Because they don't have anything else to talk about, because they haven't met Jesus and his incredible power to change your life so much more than a boyfriend can. 
Also songs about love are the easiest to write, there's endless things you could say. I write music about romance. It's fun. And I fricken care about the music I write, so it means all the much more. 
But I have a lot of problems when I write music, some stemming from self doubt and some stemming from the volume of music I listen to from artists who are so talented. Because of our current media structure, and my involvement in it, I am constantly hearing and seeing the latest prodigies and the most talented individuals in the system. That's amazing, I totally want to hear those people. But having them in my headphones all day makes me compare myself so hard, and not only my vocal chords but my guitar playing and choice of melodies and entire sound. Basically I am continually disappointed in my own music because it doesn't sound as good as the music I want to listen to. I don't want to listen to my own music because it's not put together and recorded in a studio and worked on by professionals and it isn't cared about enough. It isn't worked through and experimented with and explored enough. And I don't have access to the tools to make that happen, so songs just sit there and don't make it out into the world because I'm disappointed in them and disappointed in me. But you, reader, don't need to care about my issues. I'm not asking for help. I'm actually really surprised anyone has read this far, I mean I definitely wouldn't lol 

//Skirt: Thrifted//Shirt: Reitmans//Clutch: Louenhide original from Venduto//

tl;dr summary

Music is amazing. People are so good at it, even if they sing about love the whole time. And I wish I was better. 

I like this song because it's usually a message sent to women about being vain, but this time a woman sings it to a man, and it applies just as much. It's also a very funky song. Listen! And then go find songs that mean a lot to you because of reasons other than the sick beat. Send me some that you like! I want to hear them! 

Love, Natasha 


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