Love Lives and Snowy Pines

Hello Readers, 

Someone asked me today why romantic relationships cause so much more grief and argument than friendships, and how conflict doesn't seem like such a prominent part of a friendship, yet a romantic relationship needs conflict and is sometimes the cause of a lot of anxiety and stress. 

I think the answer is found in the end result. With friendships, there is no promise of a lifetime of friendship. You aren't trying to figure out how to best be with this person forever and eternity. You are just trying to be with each other when you need and then drift apart when the time comes. There is no need for intentional figuring-out-of-compatibility, because you can just be individuals with purpose that move through life together. With romantic relationships, you are basically trying to mould yourself and melt yourself TO this other person. You are trying to become One, over time and over a long process of things, one of which should be marriage. This takes effort, love, time, and yes, lots of arguments and strife. There is no seamless way to do this. Yes, you can be friends with someone for forever and eternity, but that happens because of simple choices like choosing to care for them and live near them and ask them how they're doing.

With marriage and romance, it is a person that has to be in such close proximity with you for SO LONG, that it matters SO MUCH MORE with every little thing. IT MATTERS SO MUCH! In friendships, you can overlook things like how terrible they are at accepting compliments or which end of the tube of toothpaste they squeeze first. With romantic relationships, you want to make sure those things are resolved and taken care of so it doesn't become a bigger problem in the future.

Where there is intimacy, there is vulnerability. And where there is vulnerability, there is pain.

We always talk about how dating relationships need to have conflict and fights, and yes, I think that is true. But what about friendships? Do you ever need to have a fight with your best friend in order to be "better friends" or "have a good relationship"? I'm not quite sure. But I do know that my best friend and I have never yelled at each other, or been upset with each other for more than a day, and each day I find new reasons to love her.

Dating is weird. It's like, you agree with a person to be with them for periods of time, during which you decide whether or not you want to continue being with them. And then at one point, you decide for your whole life that you want to be together with them, or you want to stop being with them. 

That seems weird, considering with friendship you don't really ever sit down and consider "Okay, now, do I want to be in this friendship for life? Or should I break it off?" No! You are in it for as long as God allows you to be with that person. What an interesting concept it would be to commit to your friendships and invest in them much like a romantic relationship. To go out of your way to spend time with them, and be the best support you can be in their lives. What a wonderful opportunity to be Christ in someone's life. To be the driving force behind them, the person that wants the very best for their life. 

We are in full throttle Christmas mode here in Manitoba. There is no holding back, no looking back. I hope you all are doing well and I'm sorry for such a long post but i just have a lot of feelings. 

//Coat: Vintage thrifted//Scarf: Urban Behavior//Boots: Payless Shoes (old)// 
I thought I would share one of my favorite Christmas songs with you, by Daniela Andrade (she mostly occupies Youtube, but she has put out a few EPs) Her voice is perfect to snuggle up to on the cold days. Enjoy! 

Love, Natasha


Popular Posts